Echoes in the Mirror #2 -What If Love Is the Practice?
“Every person you meet is either the one, or practice for the one.” Coach Annie Lalla’s words are still ringing in my ears after our group coaching call this week.
What if conscious dating is, in fact, about practicing the diligence of continuously showing up with truth, dignity, and self-respect?
This thought hits home.
The younger version of myself had always thought chemistry was the destination. If there were excitement and emotional highs in the beginning, I was all in. The idea of love being a constant practice ground, a mirror that reflects back where we have to grow, can sound so frustrating, even scary.
We have all been hurt, heartbroken, or disappointed before. While we still long for a rewarding love life, it’s also okay to take the time piecing ourselves back together after loss. That’s when mindset has to become our guiding light. It helps us carry hope forward and step back into connection with strength and clarity.
Annie wasn’t sugarcoating about mindset. She offered our group powerful reframes that break down old ways of thinking. For example, instead of thinking you are single, view yourself as available for love. Instead of calling it a breakup, consider it a graduation.
So why does reframing matter?
Language shapes mindset in how we see ourselves, others, and our experiences. Effective reframing creates empowerment, which drives our choices and actions. Then, it shifts shame and blame into self-respect, loss into growth, and endings into beginnings.
The words we choose shape the future we desire.
Annie’s key points fold back into the values that hold our Mirror community:
Authenticity – Your “bird call” is your soul on display: the art, passion, and presence that reveal your true essence. Just as birds sing or dance to attract a mate, your bird call is how your authentic self resonates with the right matches. When you live from that frequency, love has a way of finding you.
Intentionality – Dating is practice. Every person we meet is a chance to bring our A-game, to vet the kind of relationship that aligns with your values and becomes a sanctuary for your heart.
Self-Responsibility – “You are always winning the games you are playing,” Annie said. If love hasn’t landed yet, it’s evidence that your unconscious blueprints may still be at play. Her invitation is to look honestly at your blind spots, accept them, and work on them.
Humility – “True love,” Annie mentioned, “is going to break all your deals”. Every partnership requires co-creating new values and visions. Humility keeps us wearing our Learner hat, instead of the Know-It-All mask.
Curiosity & Compassion – Rather than scanning dates for red flags, Annie suggested we scan for beauty and inspiration. She wasn’t inviting us to ignore real concerns. Criticism of others often mirrors criticism (or old wounds) within ourselves. Compassion, toward others and ourselves, creates space for forgiveness, reflection, and new connection.
Detachment from Outcomes – Reframing “breakups” as “graduations” frees us from clinging to specific outcomes. It takes time to truly see someone’s core. As long as we can learn and grow, every experience is a valuable lesson, even if we don’t see it right away.
What makes Annie’s coaching world-class is the way she blends extraordinary advice and care:
Embodies a Coaching Mindset: Annie models humility and lifelong learning, reminding us that love is the most important curriculum we will ever study.
Facilitates Growth & Listens Actively: Annie stays fully attuned in the moment, listening deeply and reframing with possibility. She balances Thinking and Feeling by weaving biological and psychological insights into practical, motivational guidance.
Builds Trust and Safety: Annie recognizes we all carry wounds, while handing responsibility back to us as agency.
In the end, Annie reminded our group that relationships are never about controlling the result.
Becoming the kind of people who love and honor ourselves first IS the heartbeat of Mirror.
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